doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
