Taylor Swift is so right about you.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize