weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
