so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
