could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
