your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Who did Billy Mays play for?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She swung at the pinata with crutches
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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