The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
