now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
