in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
