bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize