your parents love me but you hate me
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
