she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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