im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
