Fuck appropriateness.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
