the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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