You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
