Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
