She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize