at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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