Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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