I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
