guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
