why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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