AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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