I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
