Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
