dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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