Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
this beer tastes like vomit already
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
