i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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