no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
