My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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