There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
