Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
