Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
