Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
