I'm so fucking centered right now
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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