How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
