so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
