But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
