just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
