Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
