It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
