dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
