FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
