he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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