I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
