are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
