I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
