whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
