How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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