I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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