So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
