you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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