Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
