Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Randomize
