Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
