I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
